Top Ten reasons I don't write about celebrities

Seriously? They're just human beings, you guys.

If you're expecting the usual witty, short and sweet top ten list here you may or may not be disappointed. There will be a certain amount of wittiness because I am somewhat of a witty person. There will, however be no undue overabundance of wittiness as this is a rant of sorts. So here we go then, the top ten reasons why I don't write about celebrities. With a tinge of witty embellishment for entertainment's sake. My entertainment, anyway. I'm not that witty. Remember, I told you that.

10 - Everyone else does it and I'm a rebel at heart.
I follow my own path, march to the beat of my own drummer and all that metaphorical stuff. I'm stubborn and narrow minded and I won't budge on anything I believe in. I'm proud of myself, my life, my children and grandchildren and everything I stand for. I know who I am and I don't need to justify that or play follow the leader with anyone. Besides, I'm an adult and it would look pretty silly if I ran around playing follow the leader all day, wouldn't it?

9 - I don't want to perpetuate the stupid and pointless American fascination with them.

My heroes are my Mom and Dad and all the other tangible people in my life that I care about and who care about me. Angelina Jolie doesn't give a rat's behind about me. I could care less what she does either. I don't know her. Now if I met her, got to know her as a person and then admired her, that would be different. Then I would feel justified in writing about her. That would be what we writers call first person experience rather than unwarranted hearsay, right?

8 - Their lives are of no interest to me.

I could care less what religion Tom Cruise is or how many kids the Duggars have now or how perverted any of them are. Geepers, don't people have enough problems of their own, without worrying about the rich and famous? I know I do. I don't have time to keep track of how many mistresses Tiger Woods has. I have a relationship of my own to nourish.

7 - I'm sick of bone thin crack addicts dictating the female body image.

Yes, I'm overweight. Even if I wasn't, this would bother me. How many kids out there are dying from anorexia, bulimia and other eating disorders caused by the silly notion that we aren't sexy unless we're skinny? How many kids have taken their own lives because of poor body image? Maybe they couldn't afford designer clothes or fancy cars like their classmates. Maybe people picked on them because of it. Who personifies this crazy myth more than celebrities? It's completely unrealistic but people still buy into it.

6 - I come from a time when people were ashamed of gossip and indiscretions.

Have you noticed a change? I certainly have. Cheaters used to be a minority. Now you will hear people actually bragging about how many people they've slept with or describing intimate details of their sex lives that are nobody's business but their own. Well, guess what? If it looks like a pig and oinks like a pig, it's a pig. While I'm at it, could both sexes please stop talking about each other like a piece of meat hanging in a butcher shop? It's ugly and completely disrespectful and does nothing to help anyone's self image.

5 – Celebrities already have way more attention than they need.

If one of these people eats an egg salad sandwich for lunch everyone knows about it before the last bite goes down their throat. No wonder most of them are self centered snobs who think the world revolves around what they say and do. It does! If Jennifer Aniston shaved her head all except a lock in the front that looked like a unicorn horn and braided that lock and dyed it purple, I guarantee it would be the latest trend for several months or longer. I don't have to write about these people. It's already well covered.

4 - I'm sick of young people emulating celebrities.

To be sure, there are probably some celebrities who are worth emulating but for the most part, not so much. Plus there are so many different stories out there, who knows what the truth is any more? We don't know these people personally, so why would we want our kids learning life lessons from them? You wouldn't let a complete stranger babysit your children would you? Yet, that's exactly what you do when you allow them to be caught up in celebrity worship.

3 - They already have enough of my money. I go to their movies. I buy their music. I do appreciate their talent. That's enough. Constantly writing about celebrities just brings them more and more money. It's free advertising and promotion for someone who can easily afford a publicist. I can't even afford to advertise my own business, why should I advertise theirs?

2 - I'm just not that into them.

My grandchildren are way cuter than their babies. My boyfriend is way hotter than Brad Pit in my humble opinion. My awesome youngest daughter is a fantastic yoga instructor! My son plays the guitar like nobody's business. My oldest daughter is a computer whiz and a great writer. My whole family are a bunch of certified geniuses as far as I'm concerned. I'm just not that into celebrities. My own friends and family are much more diverse and interesting to me.

1 - I'm not all sugar plums and rainbows.

My Mom always taught me if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Well, I guess I've pretty much blown that one! If I wrote about celebrities, I would have to tell it like it is, just like always. I'm not perfect either, but I'd be bashing and trashing these people like nobody's business and probably do nothing but make myself look bad in the end. Plus, chances are, most of them wouldn't deserve it. They could be perfectly nice people. We just don't know them, that's all.

So, there you go, that's why I don't write about celebrities. How about you?