Top ten Facebook posts you won't find on my Facebook page

10. Bigotry, exclusion or hateful, hurtful “humor.”

(Self explanatory.)

9. Vague mysterious statements about my life.

(I pretty much let it all hang out.)

8. “Fake” people bashing.

(All people are real.)

7. Man hater/woman hater posts.

(We all suck sometimes.)

6. Actually, hater posts of any kind.

(Love is all you need.)

5. Sponsored by.....

(I'm not helping you sell your crap because it's accompanied by a cute cartoon.)

4. Share if you love Jesus and are not ashamed.

(If Jesus exists, he likely doesn't have much time to monitor Facebook.)

3. Share if you are my true friend.

(If I was your true friend, you wouldn't need a test to figure it out.)

2. Share this and no copy/pasting allowed because if you truly care, you'll type it all by hand.

(Um, no thanks. I have a life.)

1. A meme with a touching saying and a picture of a “real” (white) U.S. citizen with one hand on his/her gun and the other on the bible, with a flag waving in the background.

(All Americans are real. They come in many colors, shapes, sizes, ethnic backgrounds, religions and sexual orientations. You might also be shocked to know that they don't all love country music, fishing and hunting. Some of them are even, gasp.... Atheists and Vegans! )