The top 5 reasons you should click on my stuff

There are millions of blogs online. Why should you click on one of mine?

1. I need the money.

Yup. Let's be honest here and blunt too. And OK, maybe a little selfish, but this is how I earn a paycheck. It's pay per click after all. Therefore, I consider it to be one of the top five reasons you should read my work. #1, in fact.

2. I am entertaining.

Not bragging here, but even if you only click on my stuff to laugh at me, you will very likely be highly entertained by my pointless banter. I know I am. Plus, it's not all pointless.

3. I know stuff and I'm sharing it for free!

I've never been one to think inside the box. In fact, I haven't even seen the box in years. I think my cat stole it. Anyway, I will teach you about things you had no idea even existed. Pay per click is free for you, so what have you got to lose?

4. I'm a little crazy.

Guilty as charged. But I'm OK with it. Being a tad bit crazy makes the things I write unique. In fact, I will absolutely make you think in ways the average person never has. Click away and be amazed at my absolute brilliance. Mmmm Hmmm Sure.

5. You never know what you'll get.

A warehouse of factual tidbits lies seething beneath the surface of my mind. Anything could set it off. Who know which synapse will snap and unload it's burden today? So why not click my stuff and watch the show?

Five reasons Twitter is less stressful for me than Facebook

As a writer, being active on social media and using Facebook in particular is a must for me. Still, I have a love/hate relationship with it because it can generate such negative emotions. Twitter is a whole different story. It's mostly lighthearted, plus, I don't have to talk to people all that much....

5. Twitter requires minimal interaction

Let's face it, some people just suck at socialization and I'm one of them. I'm not the most “normal” person on the planet and most of the time, people don't really “get” me even when they say they do. Not only that, but I don't “get” very many people because I just don't think the way they do. So, people stress me out in many ways and most often through no fault of their own. Twitter allows me to be social without socializing as much as I have/want to on Facebook. Know what I mean?

4. No one on Twitter gets insulted if I “un-follow” them.

In fact, they probably won't even notice. This leaves me free to follow only people with common beliefs and interests, if the others stress me out, without offending anyone. On the other hand, if I even hint that I need to “un-friend” someone on Facebook, there will be hell to pay, gossip to address and a whole ball of nasty wax to deal with.

3. Twitter has no true comment section.

So, no comment wars. No trolls. No harassment. No arguments. No misunderstandings. No hurt feelings. No people trying to prove their point with endless comebacks and biased quips. Unfortunately, Facebook has all of that stuff and then some. It can be a real mood killer. In fact, it can and has, ruined many days for me, aura wise.

2. I can take or leave Twitter anytime I want.

Facebook is so addicting. Once I go on there to check on my friends, I get stuck for hours, often doing the very things that tick me off when other people do them. So ironic. Plus, if I leave, I feel I have to explain why I'm not on there so much so people don't worry about me. Twitter is “In-Post-Out.” Easy breezy. No questions asked.

1. There are no rants on Twitter.

I know that I'm the rant champion, believe me. But still, the best thing about Twitter is that posts are brief, fast and to the point. No stress. Just the facts (or the funnies) Jack. And that goes for me and everyone else. I can be such an ass-hat on Facebook when I get riled up. Oh, yes, I know I'm part of the problem for sure. I'm 56, you guys. I know myself quite well at this point in time.

PS- And to prove my point about having to be on Facebook anyway, I'm betting that most of the people who read this will follow a link from Facebook. You did, right? (And by the way, thank-you for giving me a view. That's how I get paid. About ten million more on each page and I can retire. Bwa ha ha)

Plus, you guys, there are also just so many beautiful people who are my Facebook friends. I just couldn't bear to leave. Sigh.... It's a trap!

Top ten best things about growing older

Who gives a crap how silly you look?

They say that old age brings wisdom. I suppose that's true. But I think it's more about life experience and the resulting growth. Here's ten things life has brought me in my middle years that I didn't fully understand before. Oh, I knew all the little sayings. They just seem to ring more true now and have a deeper significance.

When you grow older, as a general rule:

10. You care less about the petty things in life.

-You don't throw tantrums because your socks don't match. You don't take issue with your good china being used on the wrong occasion. In fact, you use it every day because otherwise, what's the point in having it? So what if the hairdresser got a little too scissor happy? Life goes on and so will you. You're alive and well. Your loved ones are alive and well. And if they're not, you help them through it. That's all that matters.

9. You care more about the important things in life.

-The big things matter. That's where your focus is now. Compassion, strength of character, love, your impact on future generations and the planet in general, the people you love and stuff like that. These things become your focal point. Isn't it great to feel that you're making a positive difference?

8. The pressure to look good naked or in swimwear is off.

-OK, so it's mainly because no one is looking or they've seen it all before. But still, isn't it nice to be able to relax a bit on that score? Especially if you're a woman. Oh sure, you still try to look your best but bikinis are pretty much out and chances are, unless you're a superstar, your body has seen better days. People don't really expect grandma to rock a thong at the beach. So, you're off the hook. Enjoy it!

7. You stop giving a crap what other people think.

-I'm probably the champion of this one. All my life I've been a liberal, kind of a quirky/weird/crazy tree hugging, hippie vegetarian. Now I'm going vegan as well. I've also got a big mouth and I'm not afraid to use it. So lot's of people take issue with me or tell me to tone it down. I used to listen and back off, for the sake of peace. But now I say, “Fuck all” if they don't like the way I do things. Being a people-pleaser/peacemaker just doesn't suit me any more.

6. You've screwed up a lot.

-Therefore, knowing which path to choose is much easier. Of course, that sometimes leads to a know it all attitude like mine. But hey, nobody's perfect. We're all just here trying to do our best, after all. There's no science to life. You just live and learn and grow the best you can, right?

5. You don't have to hurry any more.

-Isn't it fun watching everyone else run around like crazed zombies on crack trying to “Find themselves or “Be all that they can be?” Ha! I get such a kick out of it. Why rush to the grave or to your goals for that matter? When you reach middle age one of the best things is slowing down. You stop to smell all the roses. You don't even mind a few thorns here and there. You've been there and done that. You're perfectly content with where you are. If not, well, you know how to get where you're going without all the crazy. Plus, you have what it takes to really rock it if you need to.

4. Appreciating the small things isn't just a cutesy phrase.

-By now, you've learned that some of the best things in life don't involve money or success. So, finding joy in small activities and observations is a reality that you cherish and utilize daily. You sit on the porch and sip lemonade while listening to the birdies. You calmly slap paint on life's canvas, reveling in the experience. You see/feel the joy in all things very deeply. More importantly, you have accepted the fact that negativity and struggle are an important part of life as well.

3. You have in your head the perspectives of every age you have ever been to draw on.

-You have known the innocence and curiosity of a child, the angst of a teen, the frustrations of a young parent, the sadness of losing loved ones too soon and so much more. Maybe you've even had the chance to do a little hell raising. No matter what someone is going through, you can empathize with them because you've been there.

2. You also better understand your parents and grandparents.

-It's you who must take care of them now and you're better equipped to do it. They were there for you and now it's your turn to do the same for them. That takes strength, courage and all the life experience that you now have.

1. You have learned to smile through many storms.

-Perhaps this is the most important gift that growing older gives us. Finding/utilizing joy and laughter to get us through the rough spots is a valuable by-product of old age. For example, my older brother is very religious and always wishing that I were as well. He once told me jokingly, during a time of sadness that he had a great idea. He said that since I'm an atheist, maybe if I prayed on that struggle, God would more readily answer my prayers. This gave us both a good laugh when we needed one most.

But seriously folks, no matter your age, the love, joy and laughter are inside you. The appreciation for small things is too. You just have to find it and make use of it. Every minute is a blessing and a lesson. Your physical appearance is insignificant in the scheme of things. You have the power to make a difference in the lives of others. That's all that matters. Live life well. Leave a legacy of caring, compassion, strength and support. Most of all, teach others to do the same (by example, not threat/violence) and the world will be a better place all around.

5 Things about going vegan that are harder than sticking to your diet.

Ah, the endless barrage....

Yup. Going vegan is relatively easy when it comes to diet. Sure, it's hard to change lifetime eating habits. But you know what people forget? They forget that going vegan is about not consuming any animal product, not just food. It's also about being kind to other human beings. Even when they're not so kind to you. And it has to be said, albeit in the most respectful way, that some, not all, non-vegans are actually harder to deal with than any diet or lifestyle changes we are making.

Finding inexpensive vegan shoes, etc.

They are out there. But if you're on a limited budget, you can't exactly just pick up a pair of cheap vegan shoes at Wally World, if you know what I mean. And you have to really read between the lines on those art supplies. Many other products we need are made from animal products too. And so, a lot of us poorer vegans end up begrudgingly buying things that we need that are not vegan. And that's really rough when you care as much about the planet, other animals and humans as we do. In fact, it's heart-breaking.

Friends who insist on you eating with them at conventional restaurants.

I have a lot of non-vegan friends who will eat with me at vegan restaurants for the adventure and unique, tasty food they have never tried. But I also have non-vegan friends who insist that I go to those other places because I'm the one who decided to go vegan. It sounds logical, but it's very frustrating and frankly difficult as all heck to find even one vegan entree on conventional restaurant menus. And even when there is a description or you ask the waitstaff, there's no guarantee that they didn't slide some meat broth, milk or cheese into that dish.

Dealing with vegan jokes.

Ha ha ha Not funny! It's so hard to have friends look at your lifestyle like it's some kind of joke. Or even worse, those who laugh about consuming other animals. But don't get me wrong here. I'm not insulted for me. I'm insulted for the animals who suffer and die daily at the expense of these jokesters. Making jokes about someone else's death has to be the most offensive and inconsiderate thing one could possibly do.

Having to explain yourself every 5 seconds.

Whenever I even make the slightest mention that I'm vegan, I am immediately analyzed, questioned and queried or persecuted/condemned.

Sorry folks, but we even tire of giving all the details of our choices to people who are nice about it. It's exhausting. We just want to live our lives without constantly playing 20 questions.

Rude/biased omnivores.

Preconceived notions are the worst thing vegans deal with. Vegans rarely speak up about their beliefs, protest or even give their opinion without someone telling them how intrusive they are. It's completely biased. It's a basic human right to be able to express yourself and to protest injustice, whether you're vegan or not. And if we mention that, well then, we are told that the persecution and angry words launched against us aren't indicative of prejudice when compared to what other groups endure.

That's absolutely true. But guess what? Abusive/bigoted words and deeds hurt like hell when you are the one on the receiving end, no matter what category you fit into or to what extent you are persecuted. Vegans have rights and feelings too. And hushing them or taking away their right to protest is every bit as bad as suppressing any other group of people. Bigotry is bigotry, no matter who it's directed at.

Top ten Facebook posts you won't find on my Facebook page

10. Bigotry, exclusion or hateful, hurtful “humor.”

(Self explanatory.)

9. Vague mysterious statements about my life.

(I pretty much let it all hang out.)

8. “Fake” people bashing.

(All people are real.)

7. Man hater/woman hater posts.

(We all suck sometimes.)

6. Actually, hater posts of any kind.

(Love is all you need.)

5. Sponsored by.....

(I'm not helping you sell your crap because it's accompanied by a cute cartoon.)

4. Share if you love Jesus and are not ashamed.

(If Jesus exists, he likely doesn't have much time to monitor Facebook.)

3. Share if you are my true friend.

(If I was your true friend, you wouldn't need a test to figure it out.)

2. Share this and no copy/pasting allowed because if you truly care, you'll type it all by hand.

(Um, no thanks. I have a life.)

1. A meme with a touching saying and a picture of a “real” (white) U.S. citizen with one hand on his/her gun and the other on the bible, with a flag waving in the background.

(All Americans are real. They come in many colors, shapes, sizes, ethnic backgrounds, religions and sexual orientations. You might also be shocked to know that they don't all love country music, fishing and hunting. Some of them are even, gasp.... Atheists and Vegans! )

Top ten ways to piss off a vegan

Ya, I know. Maybe you want to. For some reason, other people sure do get a kick out of putting vegans down. But honestly, this is more about trying not to go there. You know what I mean? If you're friends with a vegan, please don't do or say these things. It's quite offensive, really. And lets face it, you wouldn't treat your other friends this way, simply because their lifestyle choice differs from yours. Or at least I hope not.

10. Telling a vegan not to preach while simultaneously preaching about why your choice is better.

Highly ironic. Just saying.

9. Spouting off about vegan protesters.

They have the same right to protest that you do. OK. Maybe they are inadvertently insulting you by saying that omnivorous consumption is unnecessarily cruel. But it's true. And it's also not an attack on you personally, like when you speak out against their right to protest or speak their mind.

8. Saying, “Look at this delicious hamburger, you know you want it.”

Actually, it's quite sad/traumatic for vegans to watch you eat the dead flesh of innocent beings and not appetizing at all. Frankly, your cruelty and your hamburger disgusts them. So doing this is rude beyond comprehension and inconsiderate of their feelings.

7. Ask “How do you get your ____?” in order to prove that vegans are unhealthy. or “What on earth do you eat?” in order to prove that a vegan diet is boring and tasteless.

A proper vegan diet is nutritionally sound in every way. Possibly more so than most diets. And they eat food. All kinds of food. Thousands upon thousands of fruits, veggies, whole grains, tree nuts, seeds and legumes. And it's all delicious, by the way.

6. Say, “Well, I have have a friend who went vegan and had to go back because it made her sick.”

Truth? She probably wasn't eating healthy. You can be vegan an not be healthy, just like you can be an omnivore and not be healthy. No matter what diet you follow, you can screw it up!

5. Cite canine teeth and cavemen.

Human canines are not designed to rip flesh from live animals. That's what natural carnivores do. The human digestive tract is not designed for consuming animal products either. And if we continued to do everything the way our desperate and starving ancestors did, we would never have improved our quality of life. Evolving is necessary when circumstances change. If a caveman jumped off a bridge....etc. PS – Let's dispel another early man rumor. Carbs, not protein, built our brains.

4. Joke about eating animals.

Vegans have heard all your tasteless jokes. They don't consider them funny. They consider them insensitive and disrespectful to the animals that died to fill your plate and clog your arteries.

3. Talk about how you can't go vegan for health reasons.

There is literally no health issue in existence that is made better by an omnivorous diet. On the other hand, there are many individuals with chronic illnesses that have improved or have been cured with veganism.

2. Tell vegans the earth would be over-run by other animals and the natural balance would be destroyed if we all went vegan.

Actually, the omnivorous way of life is virtually destroying the planet due to the vast numbers of other animals that are being over-bred for food. If we all went vegan, it would gradually decrease the number of animals bred for food, servitude and other purposes, thus restoring the natural balance and doing away with our number one pollution threat, the animal agriculture industry.

Oh and those plants you're so worried about? An overwhelmingly higher number of plants are consumed indirectly by omnivores through other animals than are consumed by vegans. That issue would be null and void if we ate veggies in place of meat and dairy. More water is used to feed omnivores too!

1. Base your opinion of vegans on stereotypes:

Vegans are not all wasting away. Some of them are body builders and star athletes, while some of them are even a bit on the chubby side.

Vegans are not as pushy as they are made out to be. They will stand up for their beliefs, just like any other person who is committed to a cause they believe in. They're just trying to make people aware of some things they may not know and share their happiness at discovering that there is a way we can all live and do no harm. Listen or don't. Your choice.

Vegans are not ignorant They do not skirt the facts or believe only what they wish to. In fact, due to having to defend their way of life almost constantly, and also to insure that they are making the right choice, most vegans have done extensive research on all subjects related to veganism, diet, health and many other related subjects. When it comes to nutrition, many vegans have more study hours than a lot of doctors.

Vegans do not believe they are perfect, infallible or superior. Some of them even fall off the wagon from time to time.

Note: You're right that vegans can be a bit defensive at times, though. That's what happens when you're discriminated against and misunderstood by a large portion of the population, simply for trying to do the right thing and be as kind as possible. It gets to them sometimes. So, they lash out, then regret the fact that they weren't as compassionate as they could be afterwards. Vegans are human, after all. Who knew?

Top ten best excuses....er reasons to avoid writing

What do you mean, there are no excuses? Actually, old school writer dude, I have 10.

10. Housework (No one can fault you for wanting to keep your house clean)

9. Walking the dog (Hey, you both need the exercise, right?)

7. Bills (They do have to be paid....)

6. Long phone conversations (It's not your fault your friend is a chatterbox, after all.)

5. Scheduling (Plans before action, right?)

4. Illness (Hey, you can't help it if you're sick. It's not like you asked for it.)

3. Leveling up (I just have to beat this one level and I'm done for good!)

2. Social networking (It is a part of your job.)

1. Writers block 

This is the ultimate writing excuse. 

No one can prove you wrong even if you're lying because it's all in your head.